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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749942">The Maleficent Seven (But Better)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dextervexprotectionsquad/pseuds/dextervexprotectionsquad'>dextervexprotectionsquad</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background sexter, I think we all need a little found family right now, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dextervexprotectionsquad/pseuds/dextervexprotectionsquad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretty much exactly what it says on the tin. I love M7, but I thought I’d share my version of it, with a little more focus on the good guys and some found family vibes, plus an OC replacing Wilhelm (no betrayal here babes!). Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Saracen Rue/Dexter Vex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saracen was late - as usual. This didn’t surprise Dexter Vex. Back when they had been in the Dead Men together, the only times when Saracen Rue wasn’t late was when you needed him to step in and save your life. Not a bad habit to have, all things considered, but every now and then Vex just wished his boyfriend would be a little more organised in the day-to-day running of things. </p><p>Everyone else was here, sharing space in the Gulfstream V that was sitting on the airfield, waiting for it’s one remaining passenger to finally turn up. Frightening Jones sat across from Aurora Jane. Born and raised in Nigeria, his deep baritone contrasted with Aurora’s Californian lilt as they swapped stories about mutual acquaintances and laughed quietly. Where Frightening was immense and powerful, Aurora was small and fragile, and seemed like a stiff breeze could break her in half. Looks were, of course, deceiving. Vex had seen the brunette with the sharp tongue in battle. It was why he’d recruited her, after all. </p><p>Next to them, Lyra Ardent sat cross-legged on her chair, laughing as Aurora told an embarrassing story about the time he’d slipped while rock climbing naked and she’d had to cut him down. Although he knew Lyra was capable, he still had his doubts about taking a 16 year old on a serious mission like this one. He’d been training the blonde Australian for two years now, and this was her first official mission. Sure, he had taken her along for some small jobs, but he was trying as hard as he could to keep her out of trouble until she got better at magic. She was small, being only slightly taller than Aurora, but her combat skills had drastically improved within the last year since she’d begun training with the rest of the group. Lyra may not have been a psychic, but she was tough and intelligent, and her shapeshifting often came in handy. With time, they’d all started to think of her almost as their little sister, and nobody had protested when he’d suggested she take Jerry’s place. Of course, it wasn’t his original plan to bring her along, but his first choice had died and he thought she was ready for it. He’d filled her in the day before about the situation with Darquesse and why they needed the God-Killers. She’d taken the news rather well, or perhaps she had simply just been too jet-lagged to fully absorb it. </p><p>He watched as she drained the rest of her iced coffee, and set it on the floor. This was her second coffee of the day, and the poor kid had needed it. Due to Sydney being nine hours ahead of Ireland, her sleep schedule was often thrown off-balance. Despite her having arrived the previous day to give her time to adjust, the shadows under her green eyes were still pretty dark. </p><p>Gracious O’Callahan looked back from the cockpit. Not the tallest gentleman Vex had ever known, Gracious made up for his lack of height with cool hair and a relentlessly sunny outlook on things. </p><p>“Where’s this eejit got to?” He asked. “If we don’t take off soon, someone will realise we’ve stolen their jet.”<br/>
Aurora broke off her conversation with Frightening and Lyra, and frowned. “This is stolen? We’re in a stolen jet?”</p><p>“Not stolen,” said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot’s seat.<br/>
“Almost stolen,” Gracious corrected.<br/>
“Semi-stolen,” said Donegan.<br/>
“Quasi-stolen,” said Gracious.<br/>
Aurora’s frown did not turn upside down. “So is it stolen or not?”</p><p>Donegan and Gracious hesitated.<br/>
“Yes,” they both said together.<br/>
Aurora sagged. “Why is it,” she asked, “that every time I’m around you two we end up stealing something big?” She gestured towards Lyra, who looked amused at this exchange. “Look, you’re being bad influences on her.” </p><p>“We always return it,” Donegan said, a little defensively. “Maybe not always in one piece, or necessarily to the right person, but return it we do, and so it is not stealing, it is merely borrowing.”</p><p>Gracious looked at him. “It’s a little bit stealing.”<br/>
“Anyone who leaves a private jet just lying around deserves to have it stolen.”<br/>
“It wasn’t lying around,” said Gracious. “It was locked up tight. It took us an hour to dismantle the security system and get inside.”</p><p>Donegan looked back at him. “You’re not helping.”<br/>
He turned back to Aurora. “Besides,” he added, “we’re going to teach Lyra how to fly it once we’ve taken off. That sort of cancels out the stealing thing.”<br/>
Aurora looked at him sceptically. “Really? How?”<br/>
“It’s… educational?” </p><p>Vex had first met the short, powerfully built Irishman and the tall, skinny Englishman when he was tracking a vampire through Hong Kong at the beginning of the nineteenth century. They’d saved his life, he’d saved theirs and the vampire had been humanely put down by driving a train over its head. They’d all been firm friends ever since. Well, except for the vampire.</p><p>Gracious looked out on to the tarmac. “Here he comes,” he said. “Sauntering, as usual.”<br/>
Vex turned, and watched his boyfriend climb the steps into the plane. He wasn’t as tall as Vex, but he had a glint in his eyes and a smile that seemingly no woman could resist. Or him, for that matter. Vex broke into a smile of his own as Saracen met him with a kiss. “You’re late.” </p><p>“Couldn’t be helped,” said Saracen, dumping his bag on one of the tables. “I had a thing with a thing. It got complicated. But it’s over now and here I am, and who do we have here? Bane and O’Callahan, you roguish devils, you. Ah, here’s trouble. Lyra, how’ve you been? Frightening, don’t get up, my ego couldn’t take it. And Aurora. My one true soulmate. My darling.” </p><p>Aurora grinned. “Hi, Saracen. It’s good to see you.”</p><p>Saracen clapped his hands together, turning around to face Dexter. “Now,” he said. “Down to business. Dexter, where are we going? What’s the plan? Why am I here?”<br/>
“I’ll tell you as soon as we’re airborne,” said Dexter, settling into his seat and buckling up. “Captain O’Callahan?” </p><p>Gracious began flicking some switches. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said over the speakers, “welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I’d like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won’t do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain.”</p><p>The jet began its taxiing to the runway with a sudden lurch, and Gracious chuckled. </p><p>“Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve actually never flown one of these before, but I’m sure it’s just like falling off a bike.” </p><p>Donegan’s voice came over the speakers now. “I think you mean riding a bike.”<br/>
“What did I say?”<br/>
“Falling off a bike.”<br/>
“What’s the difference?”<br/>
“You want me to tell you the difference between riding a bike and falling off one?”<br/>
“I just meant that once you’ve flown one plane you can pretty much fly them all. Oh look. Wonder what this button does?”<br/>
“Don’t touch it.”<br/>
“What does it do?”<br/>
“I don’t know, but don’t touch it.”<br/>
“It must do something, though.”<br/>
“Of course it does something. It wouldn’t be there if it didn’t do something. But since we don’t know what it does, don’t touch it.”</p><p>Vex raised an eyebrow at Saracen as they picked up speed. The others sat listening intently as the Monster Hunters bickered amongst themselves. It soon devolved into a discussion about whether or not Aurora would go out with Gracious. Aurora winced, looking at Dexter. </p><p>“He knows I like women, right?”</p><p>Saracen laughed. “I guess he’ll find out the hard way soon enough.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Monster Hunters continued on like this for a while, going into detail about the pros and cons of dating Gracious. After they’d discussed which of the crew they’d date aside from Aurora, they discovered that the mic button had, in fact, been on the entire time, and abruptly cut it off. For lack of entertainment, the others resumed their previous conversations. </p><p>It took about 15 minutes before the plane leveled off and Gracious and Donegan put it into autopilot, leaving the cockpit to join the others. They sat down on the remaining white leather seats somewhat awkwardly as Dexter stood up to address them all. </p><p>“Ok then,” he said, “as you may have guessed, the time has finally come to stop talking about collecting the four God-Killers, and just go do it. I appreciate that it’s pretty short notice, but the opportunity has arisen and we might not get a better one.”</p><p>“What has changed?” Frightening asked.</p><p>“Up until this point we’ve been waiting for the exact location of the dagger,” said Dexter. “We knew Johann Starke had it in his possession, but didn’t know exactly where. Now we do. It’s on display at his house, along with a collection of other undoubtedly priceless trinkets. We have to get to it before he hides it away again. Once we have it, we go after the others.”</p><p>“It won’t be easy.” Said Aurora. </p><p>“Which is why I have you people with me - people I would trust with my life.”</p><p>“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Aurora asked him, “not that I’m not thrilled Lyra’s here instead, but where’s the psychic? Or, oh, sorry, the <i> clairvoyant </i>. Last time we were all together the air was filled with his ridiculous ramblings and pretentious claptrap. What was that he said? <i> I feel a great darkness, like unto a cloud upon a starless night. </i>” She turned to Lyra, rolling her eyes in disgust. “Have you met this guy?”</p><p>Lyra shook her head, grinning a little at Aurora’s annoyance. “No, I haven’t had the pleasure. I only found about this whole heist thing, like, yesterday.”<br/>
“Sadly,” said Dexter, “it looks like you never will. Jerry Ordain is no longer with us. He died last year.”<br/>
“Oh.” Said Aurora. “Oh, now I actually feel mean. Natural causes?”<br/>
“Decapitation.”<br/>
“So… not too natural, then.”<br/>
“Who killed him?” asked Lyra.<br/>
“I don’t know,” said Dexter. “Saracen and I looked into it with the time we had, but we couldn’t find any leads.” </p><p>Aurora raised an eyebrow. “Uh, no offence or anything, but what do you two know about solving murders?”<br/>
“Quite a lot,” Dexter said. Skulduggery Pleasant didn’t wait for the war to end to suddenly decide to become a detective, you know. He’d always been one, even when he was a soldier. And Saracen and I were there. We saw him in action. Solving a mystery is fairly straightforward… mostly. You look for clues. Clues come in many forms.”<br/>
“Sometimes it’s a footprint,” said Saracen. “Sometimes it’s a piece of dirt. Other times it’s a word, or a name, or a reference. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes it’s hidden.”<br/>
Vex nodded. “ So you take the word or the name or the reference, and if you find more than one, then you put them together, sort them into groups and you find the thing they share. Or you take the piece of dirt, and find where it came from. Or you take the footprint, and find the foot that made it.“<br/>
“And that’s how you solve a mystery, is it?“ Aurora asked, unimpressed. “Dirt, footprints and references? That’s the grand total of what you learned from Skulduggery?”<br/>
“Yeah, pretty much.” said Dexter. “And I applied it all to Jerry Ordain’s murder, and found nothing overly suspicious.”<br/>
“Apart from the fact that he’d had his head chopped off.”<br/>
“You know what I mean. I couldn’t see how his death was linked to the four weapons. The place was ransacked. The TV was stolen. Judging by the state of the place, it was a gang of thugs. The only neat thing about it was Jerry's head. It was a blade that did it, a sword of some kind.”</p><p>All eyes flickered to Frightening, and the massive sword hanging on a hook near his coat. </p><p>“It wasn’t me,” he said, annoyed. “What, just because I use a sword, suddenly I’m a suspect? Okay, I didn’t exactly  <i>like</i> the man. I thought he was a fraud and a charlatan and not a very good psychic. But I didn’t kill him. Besides, I have an alibi. Probably. When did he die?”<br/>
“Halloween.”<br/>
“I have no alibi.” Frightening said.</p><p>“Are you sure his murder had nothing to do with the God-Killers?” asked Donegan.<br/>
“We’re <i>pretty</i> sure.” Dexter replied. “From what I have heard of Jerry since his death, he had a habit of making enemies. He’d given out a string of predictions the previous year to some very powerful and very dangerous individuals, of which exactly none came true. Statistically, that is quite incredible.”<br/>
“I just want it known,” said Frightening, “that I did not kill Jerry Ordain.”<br/>
“I didn’t either,” said Aurora. “Although I wanted to.” </p><p>“If his murder was in relation to this mission,” said Gracious, “then what does this mean?”<br/>
“It means someone is out there and they don’t want us to get our hands on the God-Killers.” Dexter answered.<br/>
“If this is true,” said Saracen, “we’ll undoubtedly come across them over the next few days.”</p><p>“Oh,” said Lyra, who had always been slightly unnerved by the casual, almost flippant way in which sorcerers discussed murder. “Good.”</p><p>“Not to worry,” said Gracious brightly. “You’ll be fine. You’ve got all of us here, and if anything, you’re the least likely one of us to get murdered.”<br/>
“Besides,” he added, “it’s too late now. We’re, like, a quarter of the way to Germany.”</p><p>“That’s right,” Dexter interjected before Gracious could make things worse. “Tomorrow night, we break into Johann Starke’s house to grab the dagger.”<br/>
“Why not tonight?” Asked Frightening.<br/>
“Tonight Starke is having a party to show off his collection. Security will be tightened and there will be guests everywhere. Only the very foolish or the very reckless would try to steal the dagger tonight.”</p><p>“So…” said Gracious. “Are we going or not?”<br/>
Dexter blinked. “No,” he said. “No, we’re not.”<br/>
“Just making sure.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you liked chapter two! As always, questions/comments/constructive criticism are always welcome.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You can drive a car, right?” Gracious asked Lyra as she settled into the pilot’s seat.<br/>
“Kinda,” she said. “Dex has been teaching me for a while, but now I actually got my license and my dad’s started to teach me, so I have to pretend I don’t know anything.”<br/>
“What if you just pretended to be some kind of child prodigy?”<br/>
“I didn’t think of that actually, but I guess it’s a bit late now. Anyway, even if I did, it’d still look suspicious.”<br/>
“Hmm. True. Anyhow, flying a plane is a bit like driving a car. Except it has wings.”<br/>
“That doesn’t seem right, but you’re the supposed expert here.”<br/>
The plane was level, so Donegan and Dexter stood behind them, watching with amusement.<br/>
“I would actually say that flying a plane is easier than driving a car.” Gracious went on.<br/>
“Why’s that?” Lyra asked.<br/>
“Well, aside from the take-off bit and the landing bit, it mostly just involves sitting around and coming up with funny announcements to make over the speakers.”<br/>
Lyra considered that for a moment. “So, all I’m doing is just sitting here.”<br/>
“Well, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound very exciting.”<br/>
“Probably because it isn’t.”<br/>
“But look. You’ve got all these buttons to look at, and the view is much better here than it is in the cabin.”<br/>
“That’s true.”<br/>
“See? Sometimes you even see birds too, like those ones.”<br/>
They all looked. Sure enough, a flock of geese was flying slightly ahead of them. </p><p>“Gracious,” said Donegan. “Don’t you think we should take the plane a bit higher?”<br/>
Gracious looked back at him. “Why?”<br/>
“So the geese don’t get shredded in the engine.”<br/>
“What? Why would the geese fly into the engine?”<br/>
“Obviously not on purpose, but it does happen. I've seen it.”<br/>
“You have not.”<br/>
“I have too.”<br/>
“You haven’t. There’s no way.”<br/>
“How do you know?”<br/>
While they were busy arguing, Dexter and Lyra watched, horrified, as one unfortunate goose was sucked through the engine, leaving nothing but a trail of feathers behind. Dexter felt grateful that he couldn’t hear it.</p><p>“Well,” he said after a moment. “I’m traumatised. I think I’m going to go sit down.”<br/>
Lyra went with him, leaving the monster hunters to debate about whether they should fly higher or lower.</p><p>-</p><p>Bags were slung over shoulders and jackets were zipped as they touched down in Germany and disembarked. Gracious and Donegan figured it would be fine to leave the plane in an unoccupied hangar, and simply act like they knew what they were doing if questioned. This, of course, usually worked for sorcerers, as they could simply take advantage of mortals’ given names. It was early March, and frost crunched under their feet as they made their way to the rental car. They put their weapons and various bits of weapon-stealing equipment in the back and piled in. Lyra and Aurora, being the smallest, climbed into the two seats at the back of the Audi seven-seater, and they were on their way. </p><p>They pulled in at a nice but inconspicuous hotel near the outskirts of Berlin. It was early evening, and raining lightly. They checked in quickly, aware that they made a rather odd group. They took a few minutes to unpack their stuff and met back up in the lobby to go to dinner. In the car, it was decided that they would get Döner kebabs after a brief and very professional rock-paper-scissors tournament. </p><p>Döners in hand, they sat at a table in the back of the small restaurant.<br/>
“So,” said Dexter. “tactics. As you all know, tomorrow we’re breaking into Johann Starke’s house to steal the first God-Killer. With me so far?”<br/>
Mouths full of Döner, the others nodded.<br/>
“Good. Now, you’re probably wondering how I plan on doing that.” He gestured towards Gracious and Donegan. “Gentlemen.”<br/>
“Right,” said Donegan. “because Starke’s security system is mostly electronic, we can hack into it pretty easily. The hard part, however, are the Rippers.”<br/>
“How many are there?” asked Aurora.<br/>
“Enough that we need to be as sneaky as possible so we don’t end up like Jerry.” Dexter replied.<br/>
“On the off chance we do get caught, however,” said Gracious, “I’ve developed a few gadgets that can help.” </p><p>Dexter nodded. “Now, after we get in, we need to actually get our hands on the dagger. It’s locked in an alarmed glass case that can only be opened with a retina scanner. Lyra, this is where your shapeshifting comes in handy.”<br/>
Lyra set down her Döner for a second to consider this. “I have to know what he looks like, do you have pictures?”<br/>
He slid his phone across the table, showing her a photo of Johann Starke. She zoomed in, focusing on his eyes.<br/>
“I’ll need a closer picture so that I can see his eyes properly.” She said, looking doubtful.<br/>
“Don’t worry if you can’t.” Dexter assured her. “We brought a glass cutter, so if all else fails, we’ll just use that and hope it doesn’t trigger the alarm.”<br/>
He looked at Saracen, obviously hoping for confirmation. Saracen looked back at him, confused.<br/>
“You did bring it, didn’t you?” Dexter asked him, already dreading the answer.<br/>
“I thought you said Gracious and Donegan were bringing it.”<br/>
“No, I asked you.”<br/>
“I didn’t know we had a glass cutter.”<br/>
“Why would I ask you to bring the glass cutter if we didn’t have a glass cutter?”<br/>
“I don’t even know what a glass cutter looks like.”<br/>
“I left it on the kitchen table with a sticky note that read “please put this in your bag”. I put a smiley face on it and everything.”<br/>
“Ah,” said Saracen sheepishly. “I thought it was a knife, and we have plenty of those. Frightening, could you do it with your laser eyes?”</p><p>“Theoretically, yes.” He said. “At least, I don’t see why not.”<br/>
“Brilliant.” He smiled at Dexter. “See? That’s sorted. This will be a heist for the history books.”<br/>
“That,” Dexter said, “is exactly what I’m worried about.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is just filling in the gaps between the plane ride and the heist, hope you enjoyed! To be honest, it was a little hard to go off-script, and I’m curious to know what you guys think of it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The break-in. This chapter is pretty long, but I’ve kept it mostly the same, aside from the bits with Wilhelm in them.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting to Germany? Simple.<br/>
Finding Johann Starke’s home? Easy.<br/>
Breaking into said house? Not a problem.<br/>
Breaking into said house while remaining undetected? Surprisingly difficult. </p><p>Kneeling on a highly polished floor with his hands up and half a dozen sickle blades aimed at his throat, Dexter Vex wasn’t exactly in the mood to look back over his plan to pick out the flaws. He knew they were there though, and that was the important thing. Hubris, he figured, was a killer.<br/>
“Mr Vex,” said Johann Starke, “I have to say, I am as surprised as I am disappointed. I would not have thought a man of your reputation would stoop so low as to engage in robbery.”<br/>
“Johann,” Dexter said, giving him a smile, “there really is no need for hostilities. Isn’t there somewhere we can talk?”<br/>
“We’re talking right here,” said Johann, “with you and your associates on your knees and very much under arrest.”<br/>
They were in a large circular room with glass walls. The sun came in through the trees that bordered the lake and the glare hit Dexter right in the eyes. He risked a glance at the others. They were all calm - bemused and squinting, but calm. </p><p>Johann walked between the Rippers that surrounded them. “Did you really think it would be so easy to steal the dagger?”<br/>
Vex shrugged. “Well, we were hoping so. Anyway, how do you even know we were after the dagger in the first place?”<br/>
“Your associate is not as subtle as she thinks.” Johann said.<br/>
The others looked round at Aurora and Lyra, who, in turn, were looking at each other, just as confused. When it was clear that neither of them knew what the hell he was talking about, Aurora turned to Johann.<br/>
“What do you mean?” she asked.<br/>
“Not you,” said Johann. “The pretty lady from last night.”<br/>
“This pretty lady,” said Dexter, “she didn’t give a name, did she?”<br/>
“Please, don’t insult my intelligence.”<br/>
“There are plenty of things I’d insult before getting to your intelligence, Johann. Your beard for one. It looks like the beards of Fu Manchu and Ming the Merciless mated and their bizarre mutant offspring crawled onto your face and died on your chin.”</p><p>Johann sighed. “A pretty brunette. French - though the accent may have been faked. You sent her here to gather information. Where exactly the dagger was, what security was in place, what safeguards I had set up…”<br/>
“That was tricky of me,” Dexter murmured. “And when she had all this information?”<br/>
Johann shrugged. “She vanished, along with one of my Rippers. He is dead, I expect?”<br/>
Dexter heard Lyra whisper something to Frightening, probably regarding Johann’s intelligence or taste in art.<br/>
“Sorry, Johann, I wouldn’t know. I have no idea who you’re talking about. I didn’t send her. I didn’t send anyone. If we were going to rob the dagger, we wouldn’t raise your suspicions by sending someone ahead of us.”<br/>
“So you’d just drop in unannounced,” Johann said, “like now.”<br/>
Dexter shrugged. “Okay, you got us. Yeah, we were going to borrow the dagger.”<br/>
“Borrow it?”<br/>
“Just for a little while. We were going to return it, honest we were. Just as soon as we used it to stop Darquesse.”<br/>
“Ah,” said Johann, “this notorious Darquesse person that has the sensitives so nervous.”<br/>
“If she’s as powerful as everyone says she’s going to be, we’re going to need some serious weaponry to put her down. Your dagger is a powerful weapon.“<br/>
“And if you needed it so badly, why not go through official channels? Erskine Ravel and Ghastly Bespoke are on the Council of Elders in Ireland - you could have got your friends to ask for it.”<br/>
“Ah, now Johann, we both know that would have been a waste of time.”<br/>
“But why?” Johann asked, all innocence.<br/>
“Because your boss sits on the supreme council, and the supreme council isn’t all that happy with Ireland at the moment, now is it? So any formal request for the dagger would have been ignored.”<br/>
“So instead you decided to steal it?”<br/>
“Borrow it.”<br/>
“Taking without asking is stealing.”<br/>
“But stealing sounds so much worse than borrowing.”<br/>
“It does sound bad,” Johann admitted, “but I’m afraid I have no choice. I am a stickler for the rules. Once in custody, maybe we can negotiate with your Council for your release.”<br/>
“That’s not going to happen, Johann. Things are kind of tricky right now as far as international intrigue goes. You don’t trust the Irish Sanctuary, they don’t trust you, everyone has ulterior motives for everything else… I just can’t be part of that. If you arrest us, you can use us as leverage against our friends.”</p><p>“And yet you have no choice,” said Johann. “You’re hardly going to resist, are you? You’re hardly going to use violence. Such a thing would be seen as a provocative act between Sanctuaries.”<br/>
“The Irish Council didn’t send us.”<br/>
“I wish I could believe you. But stockpiling powerful weapons sounds exactly like something Erskine Ravel would do before hostilities boiled over into all-out war.”<br/>
“Careful now, Johann. Don’t make this into something it’s not.”<br/>
Johann looked at the others. “I am giving you all an opportunity to cooperate,” he said. “Confessing now will go a long way to securing you an early release and a comfortable stay while in our cells. You have this one chance.” </p><p>Frightening didn’t say anything. Aurora remained unresponsive. Saracen looked bored. Lyra was sizing up the Rippers. As Johann circled them, his gaze fell on her.<br/>
“Mr Vex,” said Johann, looking almost outraged. “It is one thing to break into a Sanctuary official’s home in an attempt to rob him, but to bring a <i> child </i> with you is more irresponsible than I thought even you were capable of.”<br/>
Lyra treated Johann to one of her specialties: a little wave accompanied by a shit-eating grin. He stood in front of her.<br/>
“What is your name, and why have you put your hands down?”<br/>
“My name,” Lyra said, “is of no concern to you, and I put my hands down because my arms are tired.”<br/>
“Put them back up,” Johann ordered. “Now.”<br/>
Lyra kept her face blank and did what she was told, only she raised both of her middle fingers as well. “You try keeping your arms in the air for five minutes, and see how you like it.” she said.<br/>
Johann turned back to Dexter. “I see you’ve trained her to be as disrespectful as you.” he said drily.<br/>
Dexter shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t take credit for that,” he said, unable to stop the fond smile that crept across his face. “There’s some things you just can’t teach. We couldn’t be more proud.”</p><p>Johann looked decidedly unimpressed, and turned back to Lyra. “Surely your parents would be disappointed in you for associating yourself with this criminal rabble.”<br/>
“Now Johann,” said Saracen, “let’s not resort to name-calling. Who knows where that would lead? Why, in the heat of the moment, I might be forced to remind you of some things you did in your wild and crazy youth, and then where would we be? One of us would be red-faced and embarrassed, and one of us would be me.”<br/>
Johann narrowed his eyes. “I know just the gaol cell for you, Mr. Rue. I think you’ll really like it.”<br/>
“Maybe later. Right now, though, we have a job to do.”<br/>
“You are going nowhere. We have you, we have your colleagues, there is nothing-“<br/>
Dexter laughed, and Johann returned his attention to him.<br/>
“Something is funny?”<br/>
“Something is funny, yes,” said Vex. “How many of the Dead Men were there, Johann? At any one time, how many of us were there?”<br/>
Johann took a moment before answering. “Seven,” he said.<br/>
“That’s right. Seven. A good number for any group of people, I’ve always thought. The Seven Samurai. The Magnificent Seven. Seven Dwarves.”<br/>
“Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,” Saracen added.<br/>
“Exactly,” said Vex. “Seven of them. And seven Dead Men. So why would you think that when it came time to lead my own little group of warriors, I’d only have five?” 
“Very well,” said Johann, “so there are two more at large. We will find them and—” 
“You don’t have to find them,” Frightening said. “They’ve found you.”<br/>
Johann frowned, then noticed the little red dots that were circling his chest. He stiffened.<br/>
“Did I tell you how much I love your glass walls?” Vex asked. “Because I really, really love them.”<br/>
“You would not dare give the order,” said Johann.<br/>
“It’s not my order to give,” said Vex. “They’ll take the shot if they think the mission’s compromised. We’re free agents, Johann, like I said. We’re not sanctioned by any Sanctuary. Killing you would be no act of war – it would be the simple removal of an obstacle. So, we’re going to walk out of here, because this mysterious woman has just changed everything for us. Up till now, I thought we had the luxury of time – obviously I was wrong. So you’re going to let us go, Johann, and then you’re going to take your dagger and hide it away in the deepest, darkest vault you can find, and when Darquesse turns up, you can hand it over to us and beg us to save you.” One of the red dots was now on the tip of Johann’s nose.<br/>
“Stand down,” Johann said, and the Rippers put away their sickles. Vex and the others stood up.<br/>
“Thanks awfully,” said Vex. “We’d stay and chat, we really would, but apparently we’re in a race, and we’re already behind.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you guys liked this one, feel free to leave feedback/general comments and kudos!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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